In Dreams

Last night I dreamed that Kyle recovered from Autism. He could finally talk and he told me what he wanted in life. I was beyond thrilled and so excited to tell everyone about it, more excited about showing him everything his illness had kept him from doing. The most exciting thing was finally being able to tell him how much I cared about him and knowing he understood it. Even more, that he could tell me, too. Oddly, he still had some of his stimming behaviors. Then I woke up and started bawling like I don't think I ever have before. I'd give anything to let you live like the rest of us.

Talk Dirty to me

Soooo... Semester starts on the 30th for moi. I'm in an Anatomy class, a Drawing materials and techniques class (mainly just for the instructor), "The Dream" painting studio, And then a Topic: Visualizing Aggression (I have no idea what this is about, but it's a social science and it fufills muh requirements), and an intro to weather forecasting (again, fufills and requirement). Kinda psyched, worried as fawk. I quit my white-trash skid mark of a job yesterday. It should have been a good day, but it got shittier when I counted my register early in the day on a hunch and found it to be $27 short. I think the woman who I relieved tried to screw me, because they were short $17 this morning and she was short at least $11.80 and I didn't see her put it back into the register. My cook really saved my ass. Said goodbye to a buttload of good friends I made there, told some people off. It's a lot prettier when I'm walking away from it. Mad props to Matt, I've got internet (kinda) again. He must have spent a good 2 hours fixing my Landlady's WiFi so that I could get in on some of it. Still kinda in and out though (due to bad router, I think), but I'm glad to have anything at this point. Groovy shit. I put up my drapes, painted the majority of my kitchen floor and finished painting my shitter. All that's left is to finish the kitchen floor, repaint part of the cabinets, re-tile the bathroom and get the closet bar up. My bathroom shower track eludes me in terms of fix-it. Now I gots to get some furniture=DArt stuffs. Working on Duhan's painting, hope to have it finished by the end of the week. At the request of one of my cooks, I am doing the first, and probably the last, gay-oriented commission ever. A merman with a schlong. Then 2 drawings for my old Boss's son. I'm being managed by a friend in Jersey who will be making me a webbie. I'm entirely confident in his managing (specifically selling) abilities and have even got some collaborations goin with him. I'll most likely be trekkin' out there this New Years, which also gives me an excuse to see Daddy, Casey, and Sarah=D.So I get a call from my maw maw. Apparently Ki-Yell was doing his usual little nomad thang and started digging through a stack of CDs sitting my my parents' basement. He found one of my Depeche Mode CDs and ran off with it. He played it. He liked it. I'm tickled he likes DM. Maw is thrilled to be listening to something other than Disney soundtracks and Raffi. Go, Boy, go. I'm due, so piccies=D. I finally discovered how to bluetooth my cellphone pictures to muh laptop... Plus a little artwork.

MMMMMMMMMMMM

The best present I could have asked for. Climate control. I lurve this thing. Rocky Horror at the Music Box this weekend. Friday is Pirate Night!, Saturday is the same ol' show. Come see. Midnightmadness.org for more info.

Another Thing from My LiveJournal

HOME IMPROVEMENT AND OTHER ISH: All zee doors are on! The kitchen and hallway are painted, the hallway floors are finished being painted (looks helluh sharp) with two framed pieces hanging in it. I've been spending the rest of my time working on two paintings, a drawing for a coworker, and dealing with bitchy Karl... So the social life ain't resurrected yet until I come up with some more cash. I also had a scare when I went to the bank to deposit some cash and transfer some money out of my checking into my savings. There is 100 missing out of nowhere, I am not happy. Prolly call CHASE today and try to find out the deal with that, because I suspect that Karl might have a hand in this.

I also think I screwed up my body. For a while, I was eating 1000 calories a day with carbs and continuing to lose weight. A little while back, I stepped it up and took out the carbs. I ended up doing this with 600 calories a day. I had stopped losing weight, and it hit me that my body had gone into a state of hibernation and was holding onto everything it could (I'm exercising too, mind you). I started eating 1000 a day with carbs again, and I GAIN weight. This shouldn't even be possible. I think I screwed myself up, though there is the possibility of water weight and muscle mass (the exercise definitely warrants it). I'm worried and confused and pissed>:(. EDIT: Alright, a lot of it was water weight, hope the rest is muscle mass.

In Indiana news, my maw took my kitty cat to the vet. They really fucked up the last time she brought her in. Turns out Kitty is diabetic. This might be temporary due to an inflamed pancreas. She also has a urinary tract infection. So this means she gets medication and is going on a sort of kitty Atkins diet. The maw doesn't think it a very good idea that I bring her up here... I'm conflicted. In some ways it might be good for her to be here (away from Kyle's tantrums, and the ability to get a lot more attention), in other ways bad (putting her in an unfamiliar environment this far into her life, the high possibility of her peeing all over the place and my landlady freaking out). Opinions?

ADVENTURES IN WAITRESSING: Work is kinda bleh, but still entertaining. Well it had fawking better be with how shitty the tips are. This middle-aged woman who looked like Pauly Shore + 60 lbs came into my diner while I was working morning shift complaining that she couldn't find the Red Eye. I tell her that there's one on the corner a block down this particular street. She continues to complain that she couldn't find a Red Eye at any of the places she'd checked. Me = annoyed and wanting to get back to work. She returns later in the day complaining that all of the Red Eye's were not the newer ones she was looking for and continues to talk of the places she's gone to find a fucking Red Eye. While hoping she doesn't stay, she plops down at the counter and asks for a menu. She gets one of the cheapest things on the menu, three eggs, hashbrowns, and toast for $2.75. Then asks me for salt and pepper packets to take home with her. I'm already annoyed. Made me dig in the box for specific "mixed berry" jellies. I give her her white toast and she complains that it is too hard (this toast isn't even done medium). At this point I'm starting to think she wants free food, and I explain the standard consistency of toast. Jose is putting her over easy eggs and hashbrowns on a plate while she watches. She says she wants him to do her eggs more and had asked for over medium (wtf), which he does. I bring her both. She first complains that the hashbrowns are raw and not well-done as she had asked (she hadn't). Then she calls me back and complains that one of her eggs is too hard in the middle, and she had asked for over easy. I explained that she had ASKED Jose to cook them more. Jose (rightfully pissed at the point) makes her a new egg. She takes the egg, still complaining about the meal while eating it. She calls him back, he tells me to take her or else he is gonna pop her. She complains about the meal, then asks me for a takeaway box (25 cents a box, which is understandable, this is an independent establishment). She complains about the price of the box, but says she'll pay it. Keeps complaining about the meal, asks me for extra jellies to take home (which I give her), then complains about the 3.50 bill ("but it's only 2.75 on the menu") before I explain to her (again) the cost of the box and a little thing called TAX. She picks all of her things up saying "well maybe it will be better next time". You better believe I was expecting a tip for all of that, and it was obvious as she was getting up that she wasn't going to, so I counter with "Well maybe it will be better if you TIP next time."
Pauly Shore Lady - "Oh... What a horrible thing to say to a customer!".
Me - "And what a horrible way to treat the people who bring you the things you put in your mouth".
She finally left, and two of my sweet old regs (the man is blind, so he had been picking up on this the whole time) were pretty disgusted with her. I mean, shit, I was in the right, right? They don't pay me enough for this. And get this... Later, she comes back that day demanding to speak to the owner because the waitress and cook were rude to her. She also swore that the current waitress owed her money. My boss finds out and couldn't care less=D.

One of my older slot players/regs thinks Jim Morrison could be my twin brother. Not that I'm not flattered at the idea of looking like him... But no, no he couldn't.

Other than that, the black kids who work next door treat me better and even tip me these days (which is fabulous and rare). I really hate swapping shifts during the lunch rush, though, especially with the century-old cash register. Why do we have a century-old cash register? Because someone picked up the old one and walked out.

Paralized

got ZERO work done this weekend. It was muh own damned fault. What a waste of my two-day piss ant spring break. I have a few paintings planned out, one with a basis being a white chess queen (with my own twist, naturally), another with a couple (man with a partially eaten face), Duhan's Alice piece and a very special (though simple) velvet painting for Big-Boobs Sarah. I need to start casting things very badly. My kickass lady Prof told me there was no way I was failing the class... But the fawk I'm challenging her. Figure drawing is BOOOOORING. Only boring people are bored, so I suppose I was tired. The room also felt like Matt Kniola's armpit (Franking with him, I know firsthand). Tonight I write a paper, but I REALLY want to work on my bathroom mural... Particularly the tapeworm Medusa.

The suicide really likes to keep creeping up on me, I swear I'm still being reminded of him everywhere. I hate that steaming pile for coming back into my life at the last (and worst) possible fawking moment. And I still miss him. This is going to take a lot of booze to forget. At least I have new material to work with (apparantly a lot of my work is based on rage and distress? Possibly sexual tension? This is just what I'm told).

Oh, and I gots a new phone that I lost and found twice this weekend. I seriously think someone was fucking with me, because it was found both times in places I had not been with it. Thanks for all the help in locating it both times MM.... Anyhoo, the other one was obsolete by at least 5 years and making me miss my calls. Its a Cingular LG, and it has more pretty things than my reality-humbled self knows what to do with. I did teach myself how to make ringtones, though. I've so far made ringtones of David Bowie (duh), Cancerslug, KMFDM, Mighty Sphincter, Bauhaus, Legendary Stardust Cowboy, Crass, Motley Crue, Harry Merry, Sister Machine Gun, RevCo, DVDA, Alien Sex Fiend, The Damned, La Cripta, and more. So I'm not a total techno-tard, though I still suck at using my Mac. Suppose muh central wiring isn't i-friendly. Go figure that I had the opportunity to have all of my questions answered by a mac-insider this weekend and couldn't remember any of them. Since I've been on a gay video posting kick, here's a juicy little nugget from Army of Lovers (as if all their videos aren't like this). It was a visual baroque sex and still immensely faggyBut youtube Down it.
Here s pic:
have an apartment preview, too.

BLAH BLAH BLAH COLLEGE BLASED

WAH! I'm stressed! I have 7 paintings due on the 11th along with four finshed, biqued and glazed ceramic projects. There are 9 aktual piecez. Lemme xplain why ceramics is a pain between muh butt cheeks. Nearly all of my projects have been on the larger side. When dryin', clay goes through 3 stages. Wet (like mashed potatoes or really soft taffy), Leather-hard (still wet, but tough and easily carvable, like leather), and bone-dry (like compressed dried dirt. Brittle, fragile as hell). I have to spend a number of days drying of the bases of my projects as I build them up higher (through coil), or else they'll collapse. Once I get that built, I start with the carving, buffing, and refining. Then waiting for it to dry. This usually takes about a week. If it's not dry, or there are air bubbles in it, it'll explode in the kiln. Once dried, it's bisque-fired. After it's biqued, it's glazed and glaze-fired. The more times you fire it, the more risk there is of fucking it up. We also have to mix our own glazes. This means scale-measuring elements like manganese blah blah blah, sulphur, copper, iron, and mixing them with water. Lots of elbow-grease, lots of grit, a ventilation mask is required. Finished glaze is either sprayed, dipped, or painted on. Best thing about a glaze is that you take an absolute risk when you use it. Glazes can fuck up like none other. It's pre-fired version is pastel and nothing like the final. Because is melts. Shit. Is. Complicated. So all in all, it would probably take me about a month to finish a project, because of the drying time, getting someone to bisque it, getting glaze formulas, getting someone to glaze-fire it, AND making sure it's on the right temp. Terracotta (red clay) and stoneware (white clay) fore at different temperatures. If a teracotta piece is fired with stoneware, it will melt. Then there are the high-fire (cone 06) and low-fire (cone 04) glazes. Glaze a teracotta piece with an 06 glaze and you're screwed. Today was the last bisque-firing. Woops, I'm still building my final piece and my multiples pieces. Im gonna have to get one of the grad students to bisque them. Will I have enough time to glaze them? Maybe. Maybe I'll have to cover them with nail polish. I'm desperate. Gawd I'm tired. Like the rest of my painting class, I though I'd only have to have three paintings finished for the crit on the 11th. A crit with only profs is like gettin yer ego pulled out, chewed up, swallowed and vomited by Vince Neil. So, instead, my TA tells me that it gots to be seven. Three for the last prof (this woman was a moron on a power trip who wanted me to waste my resources), two for Ana (the one I REALLY liked), and whatever I want to bring for Frank (OK guy). I have one finished for Ana... And that's it. I now have ot finish my freakshow dinner in oil on gessoed paper (detailed as hell), my deep-space evolving torso picture (oil pretty big, no black used at all), that horrible colaboration that ended up being a pink, pregnant woman with a shadowed face and tree-branch fingers (I had to paint that from someone else's artist statement. BAH), picture of my best friend Anna-matronic in acrylic on big-assed canvas, volume gel acrylic painted canvas that's soon to be covered in lindseed oil and have organs drawn on it, and an acrylic portrait of my brother, Ki-Yell with his eyes half-closed. These are all pretty good-sized, except for my pregnant collaboration woman. Other than this, I have my crit for research on the 10th. I was planning to carve some plastik, Amanda Lepore-esque woman on a piece of plaster, but I think I'll do another artbook. Dave, my prof, gave me a good idea for it. It will take a lot of effort, unfortunately. Then there's another artbook I'm doing for my english class, featuring my life with Boy. I didn't realize how hard it was to live with him until I got to living without him. I miss him, though. HE GAINED THIRTY POUNDS. From his damn medication. Anyhoo, it'll take effort, too, due on the 13th. And then a by-the-book paper for history. I like that because I get to go to the big, pretty public library.

shit shit shit shit shit !!!!!"!

I was fucking HACKED, so be patient while I get this shit back up"